Television, say you love me …

There are snobs about TV who won’t admit that it’s ever worth their time; they have a set but can’t remember where they keep it. And there are the hooked, for whom the lit screen is the glow to their lives. Mostly, there are in-betweeners, who pick and choose. Can you join their ranks and still respect yourself in the morning? I think you can, though you may find yourself razzed by skeptics. Make no mistake: The faith of the TV sympathist will be tested, even by friends: “Hey, can you join us tonight for a movie? Great Lakes Line Dance. Top honors at Sundance [uh-oh]. Toast of Telluride [strike two]. Rocked Toronto [game over]. A Duluth teenager reconciles his two sets of feuding same-sex parents and gets a killer college-admissions essay out of the experience. Turns down Harvard for Bard.” The weak will temporize: “Wish I could, but my stomach’s upset and I’m going to bed early.” A true believer owns up: “Sorry, I can’t. God’s smiting Homer on The Simpsons tonight. So. Duluth. Wow. Enjoy.”

FROM: ‘My Favorite Wasteland’ by James Morris. The Wilson Quarterly.

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