Googleugenics

logo.gifI’ve talked about Megalogooglia. Well now I’m considering a new term — Googleugenics, Google’s requirement that all job applicants disclose their SAT and GPA scores so the company can “maintain standards.”

A friend of mine, age 36, who’s been in the workforce for 15 years, has a Master’s in Organizational Psychology, attended prestigious universities, worked in consulting at Deloitte for five years, and has had positions of increasing responsibility at several major Fortune 500 corporations recently was halfway through the recruiting process when she was asked for her scores.

After laughing in the interviewer’s face she said, “Sure, I can get those for you … I’ll have to dig into the boxes in my parents’ basement to find them, though.”

The interviewer was silent.

Friend: “Seriously? I didn’t realize I was applying for college here.”

Interviewer: “Well, you see, we have standards.”

Another friend, Age FIFTY, was also asked by Google recruiters for her GPA and SAT scores.

Okay, so for the moment I will refrain from discussing the Googlers we all run into from time to time who make certain to let you know within moments that they work, or once worked, for Google. Would I prefer they use a euphemism, the way so many Harvard alumni do? I don’t know.

Whatever man. All I’m saying is that the SAT score thing is feeling a little Hitler Youth, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t … Google it!

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Googleugenics

  1. Bro Bri

    Revenge of the Nerds, and considerably less endearing than the Tri-Lambs.

    Just call me Stan Gable.

  2. Dude, I’m screwed. I didn’t even take the SATs.

  3. Kristina

    yes. as you know my ex works for google. he totally exemplifies the eugenics. brilliant but humorless. who wants to be somewhere everyone else is scrambling to get into?

  4. nwo

    I’ve always been an underperformer. I guess I’d better stick with what i’m doing.

  5. Stan Gable — Sweet. And I didn’t realize it at the time but you look like a member of Wham!

    Gem — No worries. The Maenads do not discriminate based on test scores. It’s all a scam anyway. just ask john katzman.

    Kris — Brilliant but humorless. Well said!

    NWO — keep doing what you’re doing! i love the beautiful pictures and the regular laughs.

  6. You know, one of the main reasons I’m pushing so hard to build a career as a writer right now is that there’s no way anyone would hire me at this point. And I hadn’t even considered that employers might ask about my GPA. Ish.

  7. Lost

    So redonk.

    I mean, gesh…..I thought it was about SKILLZ and experience, not about how well you took standardized tests when you were 16!!

    Oh wait….maybe they wouldn’t consider me b/c I just spelled skills….with a “Z”.

    LMAO!

  8. linda k.

    how sadmaking. if these are the kind of questions the “cool” companies are asking, i might as well stay in corporate america until it’s time for me to start my fourth career–which is looking better and better!

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