Listening to wu tang at my desk, taking a lunch break. I have been on a rampage, after being back only a week or so. Lots happening at the office. Interesting, fun stuff, so that’s good. But I could totally pull a Rip Van Winkle …. Go sleep under a tree somewhere and wake up twenty years later.
That’s how I feel. Tired. Disoriented. Not all that terrible, just weird. I want to have clarity, release … to not be so scatterbrained, manic and emotional. Fundamentally I know I’ve just gotta let go … and let the chips fall where they will. About 80% of the time, I am doing a decent job at letting go. But I am not without the low moments too.
The trip to Montreal for A’s wedding was wonderful. Many of my NYC friends also made the trip and we had a hilarious time together. Lots of laughing, storytelling, imbibing, relaxing, and learning about traditions.
The only bad part about it was how I felt the next morning, on a 7 AM flight, headed to work. Under different circumstances I would have just taken the day off. Painful as it was, I am glad I was here to get things back in motion. Now I can head into the long weekend and get to enjoy it rather than worrying.
I also decided to cancel a last-minute trip to see Liss in Michigan. The physical exhaustion of the travel being one reason, the other being that I miss my Mom and just want to cocoon with her and the dogs this weekend.
Speaking of dogs, Rufus seems to have regressed socially during the last month that his schedule was disrupted. We spent almost a month at my Mom’s house in the country and then, when we came back to the city, I left him with a dogsitter after just 3 nights. Now he’s all agro in the streets with other dogs and had an episode at the dog park yesterday that scared the crap out of me. A boxer started getting nasty with him … Rufus felt “boxed in” … his hair stood on end and he started growling and sniping, not just at the boxer, but at all the dogs around him. He’s also begun growling and barking at various people on the sidewalk. I am hoping once I get him back into a routine he’ll settle back down.